MAX:
Look at these reviews!
"A satiric masterpiece."
LEO:
No way out.
MAX:
"A surprise smash!"
LEO:
No way out.
MAX:
"It was shocking, outrageous, insulting...and I loved every minute of it!"
LEO:
No way out.
MAX:
How could this happen?
The show was lousy and long
We did everything wrong
Where did we go right?
LEO:
"Christmas came early to Broadway this year -
and guess who they stuffed in our stocking? Adolf Hitler!"
MAX:
It was so crass and so crude
Even Goebbels would've booed
Where did we go right?
LEO:
"Last night a star was born on Broadway - the lovely Miss Ulla
Inga Hansen Bensen Yonsen Tallen-Hallen Svaden-Svanson.
We predict that her name will soon be up in lights. If they can find enough bulbs.
MAX & LEO:
We searched Broadway on and off
For singers with a cough
We had tryouts and auditions by the score
And to trip the light fantastic
We picked dancers who were spastic
If anyone jeted, we jeted them out the door!
MAX:
They shouted hooray
For that sausage on display
Where did we go right?
LEO:
Our leading man was so gay
He nearly flew away
Where did we go right?
MAX:
A show so easy to despise...
LEO:
Now it's up for the Pulitzer Prize!
MAX & LEO:
Oh, where, oh, where, tell us
Where did we go right?
MAX:
"The best new music of the decade! Max Bialystock is a theatrical genius!"
Now they like me!
Oh, we knew we couldn't lose
MAX & LEO:
Half the audience were Jews!
LEO:
It's the end of our careers
MAX:
It'll run for twenty years!
MAX & LEO:
Tell us where...
Did we go right?!