GUARD:
Mail call! Here ya go, Bialystock, ya got a postcard.
MAX:
A postcard? From where?
GUARD:
Brazil.
MAX:
Brazil? Who do I know in Brazil?
Dear Max,
Rio is everything you said it was and more. Ulla and I think of you
every chance we get. In the morning, when we have breakfast on our terrace,
many different herrings. And in the evening, when we samba together in the moonlight.
Sorry, must run. Ulla's waiting, it's almost eleven.
Wish you were here, Leo
Just like Cain and Abel
You pulled a sneak attack
I thought that we were brothers
Then you stabbed me in the back
Betrayed!
Oh boy, I'm so betrayed!
Like Samson and Delilah
Your love began to fade
I'm crying in the hoosegow
You're in Rio getting laid!
Betrayed!
Let's face it, I'm betrayed!
Boy, have I been taken
Oy, I'm so forsaken
I should have seen what came to pass
I should have known to watch my ass!
I feel like Othello
Everything is lost
Leo is Iago
Max is double-crossed!
I'm so dismayed
Did I mention I'm betrayed?
I used to be the king
But now I am the fool
A captain without a ship
A rabbi without a shul!
Now I'm about to go to jail
There's no one who will pay my bail
I have no one who I can cry to
No one I can say goodbye to
I'm drowning! I'm drowning here! I'm going down for the last time.
I-I-I see my whole life flashing before my eyes. I see a weathered old
farmhouse with a white picket fence. I'm running through fields of
alfalfa with my collie, Rex. Stop it, Rex! I see my mother standing
on the back porch, in a worn but clean gingham gown, and I hear her
calling out to me, "Alvin! Don't forget your chores. The wood needs
a-cordin and the cows need a-milkin'. Alvin, Alvin..." Wait a minute!
My name's not Alvin! That's not my life. I'm not a hillbilly.
I grew up in the Bronx. Leo's taken everything. Even my past!
My past's a dying ember
But wait...now I remember
How did it begin?
He walked into my office
With his cockamamie scheme
You can make more money
With a flop than with a hit
"We can do it, we can do it"
"I can't do it"
"We can do it!"
"I can't do it!" Goodbye Max!
Lord, I want that money!
I'm back, Max!
"Come on, Leo, we can do it!"
Step one, find the play!
See it, swirl it, touch it, kiss it!
Hello, Mister Liebkind
"Guten Tag, hop clop
"Guten Tag, hop clop"
Adolf Elizabeth Hitler?
"Guten Tag, hop clop
"Guten Tag, hop clop!"
Step two, hire the director
"Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it..."
Two-three, kick, turn, turn, turn, kick, turn
Ulla!
Oooh wah wah woo-woo- wah-wah
Step three, raise the money
"Along came Bialy!"
Intermission!
Step four, hire all the actors
"A wandering minstrel I,
A think of shreds and...
Next! The little wooden boy
Next! That's our Hitler!
"Opening night!"
Good luck, good luck, good luck
Break a leg! I broke my leg!
"Springtime for Hitler and Germany!"
A surprise smash!
"Springtime for Hitler and Germany!
It'll run for years!
"Where did we go right?
Where did we go right?"
Gimme those books
Fat, fat, fatty!
Gimme those books
Books, fat
Books, fat
Books, fat
Books, fat!
Lousy fruit
Kill the actors
You ever eat with one?!
Then you ran to Rio
And you're safely out of reach
I'm behind these bars
You're banging Ulla on the beach!
Just like Julius Caesar
Was betrayed by Brutus
Who'd think an accountant
Would turn out to be my Judas!
I'm so dismayed
Is this how I'm repaid?
To be...
Betrayed!
BETRAYED!!